Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book a few years ago that you may already be familiar with: The 5 Love Languages.
He defines a love language as a person’s “primary way of expressing and interpreting love.” He says that each person has one these dominant categories, or languages:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
I’ve known about these “languages” for years, since my mom read the book that was written about children when I was younger, and they’ve always interested me, but they’ve recently become the topic of a many of my conversations. I love psychology, so these, like personality types, fascinate me.
Dr. Chapman wrote his first book on how love languages relate to married couples. He then authored a book on how these languages play out in children. To my knowledge, he hasn’t announced a third book, but he should write a book on love languages as they should be spoken between friends or colleagues. In my humble opinion, the world is seriously lacking meaningful relationships. The song “All You Need is Love” comes to mind. Yes, people often lack the motivation, attention span, and time to really love on other people. Most of the time people genuinely don’t care. But what if the public was made aware of these languages, and they have the capacity to apply them to everyday situations? What if you could learn what your boss’s love language is, and walk in the office every morning “screaming” their language to make them feel appreciated? What if you could recognize the love language of your best friend and really get to know them on a deeper level?
As you may have guessed from recent blog entries, God has been working on my heart these past few months. I’m learning to embrace a lot of things about me — some of them are good, and some of them are faults that I struggle to admit. One thing I’ve been able to grasp onto is my love language. My mom “diagnosed” me at a young age of having the “physical touch” language. I knew it as I attended middle school and high school, but I never owned it as a part of myself. That’s beginning to change. God has placed people in my life now that are allowing me to throw out my insecurities and speak my language. I’ve been running around and telling everyone about it, because as they see the change in me, I want them to be able to understand what and why.
There’s so much that I want to write and include in this post, but I think that if you invest some time into learning about the person God made you to be (not just the person you really want to be), you’ll come to those conclusions on your own.
The official website has some great quizzes. I’m not sure how accurate they are, but you should take them, and then look through the descriptions of all 5 languages to see if you agree. If you’re still not sure, start experimenting. Look at what the people around you do for you, and try to figure out which is the most meaningful for you as they fit those categories. It’s a cool feeling when you learn something about yourself.